I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
