Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
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Do I have a choice?
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I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
