I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
