I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize