tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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