3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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