Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
