Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
