remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
