I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you never un-have a 4some
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
