i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
