one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You need a sexual gate keeper
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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