i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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