i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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