I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize