This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
