i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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