so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
