That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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