Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
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I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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