Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
