I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
