That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
