You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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