Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
