we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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