I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
