Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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