Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
