dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
