I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
