she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
