Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
