We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
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He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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