just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
