He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
