Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize