I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
