I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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