And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
