Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
