can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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