Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
