Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
