What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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