He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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