After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
