dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
