All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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