they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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