The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
