your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
