No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
