Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
