Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
