i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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