you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
