please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
