Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I want her autograph on my taint
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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