ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
