Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize