i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
