Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize